Life Quotes Funny But True,Life Quotes Funny,Funny Life Quotes

Life Quotes Funny But True
1.”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!” - Unknown

2.“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers

3.“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

4.”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” - Unknown

5.“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” - Brian Gerald O’Driscoll

6.“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” - Oscar Wilde

Funny Life Quotes 
 7.“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” - Abraham Lincoln

8.“The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.” - Unknown

9.“The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.” - Albert Einstein

10.“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” - Unknown

11.“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” - Bill McGlashen

12.“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” - Marilyn Monroe

Life Quotes Funny
13.“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets” - Al McGuire

14.“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” - Mark Twain

15.“Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?” - Unknown

16.”If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” - Sam Levenson

17.“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” - Earl Wilson

18.“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” - Albert Einstein